Friday, April 27, 2007

High on Dye and 2Jills Blog Challenge #6

I am in the middle of dying my hair right now. Got my head full of stinky chemicals, just waiting for the timer so I can go and rinse it out. Man this is awful stuff!!! I figured sitting in front of my computer was probably the safest place, where I wouldn't get dye on anything! So, here I am. I have been avoiding this week's challenge, not sure why, too personal maybe. But I guess it's time to suck it up and go for it! LOL!!

So here was the challenge: "Wow, Mother's Day is just right around the corner! I just got me to thinking about when I bacame a new mom. So that is your Blog challenge this week....I want to read about your thoughts when you became a new mom."

Well, of course, when I first became a new mom, I was soooo happy and excited! I had just brought this most beautiful, precious little thing into the world and I loved him more than I ever could have imagined. And then, the excitement wore off a little and reality started to hit me a little at a time. I was terrified. I just knew in my gut that at some point, somewhere down the road, I was going to be doing this alone. Since we had first found out I was pregnant Brian had been very distant, was hardly ever home, we fought about it constantly. We fought about anything and everything really. A couple months after Austin was born the fighting actually got us kicked out of our house. We had to move into a friend's garage apartment, and I hated every minute of it, which cause more problems and fights. I was miserable, we were so far from everything with no vehicle. When I did get my vehicle, I was everyone on the property's taxi driver, and later found out I was usually giving them rides to get their drugs. When I found out Brian was doing drugs I had enough. He moved down to a room in the main house and I started looking for a place in town for me and Austin. Monday marks exactly one year since Austin and I moved to this place. And we are doing just fine on our own! Better than I ever thought we would be doing. And I would not trade being a mother for anything else in this world, it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It has made me realize I can be independent, he has helped me learn how to really love, and most importantly to me, it kept me from going down the wrong path in life. A path I had already started going down before I found out I was pregnant. It has helped me become the person I had always wanted to be.

There's the timer, time to rinse!!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

GOOD for you Steph , you made the right decision, girl !!!! The most important people are you and little Austin, others have to live with the choices they make KWIM !!
I hear you with the hair thing, mine desperately needs a good cut :)

Tam, I am said...

Hugs Steph! You are a strong woman! I am so glad that you made that hard decision. Being on your own with a little is tough, I know. Matt and I were on our own a lot.

Anonymous said...

Steph, what an amazing story - what a wise woman you are and I know that you are a wonderful mother!!